The Lord has Comforted His People

There were two pink lines on the pregnancy test, and I wasn't sure what to think about it! This would be my 4th pregnancy, but we only have one child, and the thought of losing another baby was pretty terrifying. It had been three months since we had started trying, but I was in denial about it, because I just didn't feel like I'd ever be ready for another scary pregnancy. When I saw the results, I couldn't be in denial anymore, and for the next week anxiety filled my heart, more than I have ever felt before in my life. I worried that we wouldn't get to hold this baby, that something would go wrong at any moment. I stressed out about lifting anything, and the day my son woke up with a fever really set me into a panic. What if I got a fever? You're not supposed to get your temps above 100, or the baby could die since they can't regulate their own body temperatures! Besides the concern for this baby, I also felt even more sad about losing our last baby. If there hadn't been a cord accident which caused her to pass away at 23 weeks, she would have only been 2 months old, and we certainly wouldn't be even thinking of a pregnancy right then. Becoming pregnant again wouldn't be such a scary thought either. 

I also remembered that being stressed was bad too, because high blood pressure can cause problems. I needed relief, since there were still another 8 or so months to go, and I couldn't spend every waking minute dealing with such high anxiety. Adding to those issues, my son also got hurt that week, and I worried that I couldn't keep him safe either! I worried about him getting an infection, and becoming really sick. I wanted to lock my family in our house for the next 20 years, as if I could really control everything, and keep us all safe from harm...
After about a week of this, I was driving home from grocery shopping one night, and started crying, again. I started praying, and told Heavenly Father that I didn't think I could do this again. As I continued to drive and pray (with my eyes open), I felt this wonderful, comforting feeling. I felt like I was being hugged, and that Heavenly Father was saying, "I'm right here." and, "I won't leave you comfortless." I felt a bit better, enough to dry my eyes and act like a normal parent when I got home. Then the next day, I was listening to my old institute teacher, Jack Christianson's CD called, "Be Not Troubled." and he spoke of a verse in Isaiah. This is what I wrote about it on my personal blog:


Isaiah 49:13
"Sing, O heavens; and be joyful, O earth; and break forth into singing, O mountains: for the Lord hath comforted his people, and will have mercy upon his afflicted."
Brother Christianson emphasized "HIS people." The Lord has comforted HIS people! we aren't just human beings wandering the earth, uncared for, and left alone. WE ARE HIS. He cares for us, and will comfort us. He will also have mercy on us when we feel afflicted.
I. love. that. I felt that I was comforted and that He had mercy on me. Not just everyone all together, but me personally.
I also found a great one as I was searching through Isaiah, chapter 40 verse 11 "He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young."
I love the visualization in this scripture. He shall gather our babies (here and in heaven), and carry them in His bosom- watching over them and caring for them! I don't have to worry so much, because the Savior is here, caring for my children. My son would be OK, injury and all. My stillborn daughter is already in His bosom, being lovingly watched over, and this new little spirit is also in His hands. God cares for His creations, of which His children are His greatest, be it 4 weeks gestation, or 80 years!
I also appreciated the "gently leading those with young" part. He'll watch over our children, and be with us in our pregnancies. I have spent a lot of time wondering why pregnancy/childbirth has to be so hard, and wished that Heavenly Father had made it a bit easier to get babies here. This was a good reminder that God cares about his daughters, who are willing to give up physical/emotional comfort and peace of mind, to bring His spirit children here to Earth.

I really needed these experiences and reminders. I'm glad to know that we are in the Lord's hands, and that even if things don't always turn out like I want them to, I know that everything is being taken care of. I'd really rather that things go according to my plan at the moment, because I still don't know how this pregnancy will progress. All I know is that I've definitely felt more peace since that prayer and since finding those scriptures, and I hope it continues. I also know that at the end of this life, we will all be able to see things a bit more clearly, and maybe then we'll be able to understand the "why's" of our life. Until then, I know that as Sister Linda K. Burton quoted in the General Relief Society Meeting: “All that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.”Thank goodness for that! 

Thank you dear friend for sharing your story with us. I think all of us at one time or another have had to deal with fear. Thank you for reminding us that Christ is there waiting to "gently lead us along". He indeed doth "comfort HIS people".